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Om mig
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- Jeg er lektor, Ph.D. i Kommunikation på Nettet, Roskilde Universitetscenter. Min interesse er forskning i virtuelle verdener og om avatarer. Emner som denne blog handler om.
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Иногда мы не знаем куда деться от собственных мыслей. Полный депрессант ощущений и полное ощущение собственной никому ненужности.
Откровенья луны.
Просыпаются слёзы.
Уснувшие крылья в объятьях весны.
Распускается снег… то не снег – это розы,
Опоздавшие розы уснувшей весны
Такие строки рождаются от чувства одиночества. И невозможно понять, что будет избавлением от этих мыслей. Невозможно узнать, что думает другой человек.. Собственная беспомощность разлагает на кусочки.
РАДОСТЬ ЖИЗНИ, ТЫ ВО МНЕ,
Помоги мне светом своим и увидь меня в светлом сиянии. Меня любят. Меня хотят видеть. А я… Отталкивание людей – невозможное наказание за собственную глупость и неуверенность в себе. Как понять, что чувство любви живёт во мне? И продолжает ли оно жить? Люблю…. Или это чувство лишь служит оправданием собственной лени и несостоятельности.. Удовлетворение чувствуешь, когда чему-либо научился. А так… Хочется чтобы учили тебя - как ребёнка. А дать понять, что он мне не безразличен – у меня не хватает уверенности в себе.
Депересняковое настроение. Может, я просто устала???
Если вернуться к начальным страницам депресняка, то прошлое лето – яркий пример такого состояния. Что же кардинально изменилось?
Что стало определяющей составляющей моего поведения? И нужно ли об этом задумываться….
Не хочу нарочито мечтательной
Руки крыльями - ввысь улетать,
Только мир, один, бессознательный
Объявить, чтоб себя отыскать.
Я могу, я хочу, Я СУМЕЮ.
Заклинанье несказанных фраз
Нет, не только. Тебя я согрею
Если…
только смогу удержать
Потеря желания что – либо делать и что-либо понимать. Удовольствие от мира иссякло.
Ищу причину. Обращение к нему – непринятие его и вера во всё, что говорят.
Полный разрыв с реальностью. Неосознование, что вымышлено, а что осознаваемо.
Отсутствие понятной мысли и полный бред ощущений.
Мысли обнажены до предела. Заставить себя сделать что-либо не могу. Учусь через силу (но тем, не менее – на отл), но это не приносит никакой радости. Мысли. Отрывистые.
Пропадание памяти. Ощущаю, что ничего не могу усвоить, только прочитать по бумажке. Чувствую, что он считает меня умнее себя . Неправильно. Но казать ему ни о чём не могу. НО вот уже 4 месяца думаю о нём и ничего не делаю с удовольствием. Ему не могу сказать ничего. Даже просто ласкового слова. НЕ знаю какой он. Уверенна, что понимаю и тут же в этом сомневаюсь.
Любил ли он меня. Понимал ли он меня. Он мне ни чём не говорил, только эмоционально выражался. А я, как человек стеснительный и мало доверяющий своим чувствам , не решилась НИЧЕГО сказать.
НЕ слышу ни его не себя. НЕ понимаю людей. Или мне это только кажется?....
Мысли – вы видите, какой они приобрели характер.
Как обрести позитив?
Странные сны в сиянии лета
Промокшие крылья уставшей весны
Всё, что могли, было что-то и где-то.
Только узнать мы о нас не смогли.
Что я надумала, что я узнала?
Чувствую себя обязанной себя учиться и абсолютно этого не хочу. Ощущение потерянного времени.
Помогите мне люди!!! Я не могу даже выразить свои мысли, чтобы они были понятны. ПОМОГИТЕ!!!!
По ощущениям- раздвоенное чувство- выкладка схематическая на бумаге- то что я понимаю
Внешнее восприятие – полный депрессант.
Ощущения – меня считают умной- я чувствую себя идиоткой. И…
В любом случае я ненавижу прежде всего себя.
А другие люди- они такие какие они есть…
Уши закладывает, сердце болит.
Совершаю ошибки – несказанные фразы. Что будеТ здесь? Я не знаю. Что будет там- я не могу понять.
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